For money or for free? ⇐ General

[Anonymous]

A little about myself briefly. I'm 30+. I was an ugly duckling at school; in the 9th grade, a classmate beat me up after an after-school program; we bullied the weak. My mother’s friend got into my underpants when I was 11 years old, I ran away and told my mother. She didn’t believe it, she thought I was telling lies, I was jealous of my dad. The breasts grew slowly. But the nipples always stuck out. And now the maximum is size 1.5-2. There was always a waist at the bottom. Already the hips were 30-35 cm. Later, men liked it and continue to like it. I pumped up my butt well from the age of 19 to 21 in the gym, squatting with a barbell, drinking protein-carbohydrate shakes, plus I’m 175 cm, long legs, curvy thighs. Weight varies from 67 kg to 73, previously it was less... But I was unlucky in my personal life. I was studying to be a doctor, there were a lot of girls in the course, the competition for guys was crazy, the 2 boys who liked me didn’t like me. both Sagittarius by the way.. Who I like. At the age of 17, a classmate introduced me to a boy also 17 years old, he took me by force on the 4th day and left me, it is extremely painful to remember this period of my life. I came to my senses on my own, without pills, psychologists, then in the 00s it was not fashionable and no one knew, there were also no crisis centers and, in principle, the Internet. there was no sex for a year, then the sea was busy .. I had a blast many times public sex . I repeat, before there were not as many laws as there are now. And they smoked and drank in public places and cigarettes and weed and did everything they could, snitching on someone, filming somewhere, putting rats out there wasn’t like now... then there was no sex for a year until the next spring, then I met someone and waited for a minibus. There was a short romance, he took it rudely. Once I locked him in the car all night. In short, I left him.. Then I got into the massage business, it turned out there was sex, the first orgasm was with an adult man, he was 52 years old. A BMW, and a young wife with a baby... Then I fell in love with sex, I fell in love deeply and irrevocably, probably then I became a sex addict, although I had been masturbating in the bathtub since I was 11 years old with a shower jet. Later, while reading romance novels...then I received an offer by mail to go to Moscow as a masseuse. Without hesitation I agreed, it was summer holidays, August. At that time I was already 21 years old. There was literally no personal life at all. they didn’t get to know me, I returned from nightclubs in tears, there were a lot of gays in the gym, they didn’t hide their sympathy for each other. In short, in Moscow, self-esteem has skyrocketed. People met me on the street, which has never happened in my city in all my 21 years!!!! Later they started meeting people in Krasnodar, but not the same ones, I came, continued studying, then I met love at the age of 23, in an erotic massage salon, where after graduating from college I worked for a year, then I went to a clinic, and gave up massage for 5 years. . when we broke up, the relationship was extremely toxic, he was an abuser and almost killed me. Then I realized that life is the most important thing there is. When he was strangling me and my sister saved me, she came by accident and he came to his senses. In short, since I was 30 years old, I’ve been living alone, I got sex on massage sites, gave massages, then whoever I liked started giving blowjobs and then asked, “Can I sit on you?” Most didn’t mind, one threw a tantrum because I was trying to force him.. But my hands began to hurt badly. I didn’t work as a doctor for a year and that’s how I earned money. Then I found a job and already switched to an intimate site outside of working hours, I meet and get sex there. what happened during this time? I conscientiously searched in restaurants, fitness clubs, quizzes, karaoke, I go to the sea, abroad. The result was that she returned home in tears, they sent her either politely or rudely, and didn’t introduce herself to anyone. if I have sex, then if they call me from an intimate site for money.. And I really get high, I get orgasms, men come tender. I have never experienced this with those who were looking for free sex and in the relationships that I had. we can say that I am happy and comfortable. but I want a family. Children.. Or maybe I think I want it, but I really don’t. ..and to understand how lucky I am with all sorts of idiots, I didn’t tell you about my first experience; I was 5 years old plus minutes in kindergarten. the boy was lying next to him on the bed, I was very shy and was afraid that during a quiet hour he would ask to go to the toilet. and told him about it, after which he offered to pee in his mouth, I naturally refused. I already understood then that he was completely sick, he pinched me, spat on me and waited for me to do it.. By the way, I don’t remember he achieved it. Is he his? I also liked to look at the boys’ penises in the common toilet and that they were looking at me. although I think we understood little then...