Mobile versionI'm 41. I myself am a confirmed bachelor. There was a relationship about 10 years ago, which lasted a couple of years, the girl even became pregnant, but I had no serious plans for her, she was, moreover, older than me, and as a result, by our joint agreement, she had an abortion, and after some... then the relationship quietly faded away, there weren’t even any tearful partings or scandals. Now we sometimes correspond and congratulate each other on the holidays. By the way, she married a guy who is 10 years younger than her, and is also infertile, but has a good job and his own home. But that means they won’t have their own (biological) children. But I'm sorry, I got distracted.
There were no live-in relationships after that. Moreover, T10D, which is very accepted on the forum, could well have happened to me many times, but I specifically stopped it if I I didn’t like the girl for further LTR. I understand that maybe I’m not entirely right, but for some reason, it seemed to me, I always felt this strongly in advance. Since, if you look back 10 years ago, I liked, I think, only four girls with whom, after meeting and some communication, I would like to bring the relationship to sex, and then to LTR. But it was they who did not reciprocate my feelings, and two of them communicated very pleasantly with me and even responded to my flirting very positively, but they had other guys. But if you take those girls with whom T10D could happen, then at least from three I even myself , one might say, merged, because he didn’t want a relationship with them, but he didn’t want to get involved with them just for the sake of sex.
I live alone. I'm renting an apartment.
FG
Now let's get down to business. You can start reading from here if you want to know the essence right away.))
Now I work as an administrator in a cinema. Work schedule: 2/2 shifts. Usually there are two administrators working in our cinema, most often a girl and a guy. I was also lucky, recently a new girl OZHP came to us. She is almost 26 years old. I graduated from university last year. She comes from a family with many children and has many brothers and sisters.
Literally from the first day, I had a very good working relationship with her and immediately began to flirt lightly. She immediately began asking me if I liked working with her. I taught her a number of working points, she immediately said that I explain very well. And all the time very positive communication, K+, as they say here.
Even a funny, somewhat personal fact, she calmly immediately began to say that she had gone to pee and often later said that not to the toilet, but to pee, I peed recently, that is, as if something forced her to subconsciously put me in such a little intimate details of her life, as if I were some kind of person closer to her than just a colleague. Of course, I responded with a smile every time. I understand that this may be a laugh, but no girl has ever said this to me right away if we haven’t talked for a long time or we haven’t had a relationship.
And one more thing, she had to work in another cinema (we have a chain). Another cinema is more conveniently located to where she lives. But, since we suddenly, for a number of reasons, did not have enough employees, she was sent to us to temporarily compensate for our lack of employees until new ones were hired. And after just a few days of working together, she began to want to stay in our cinema, even though it was much further for her to get to it. As a result, the management decided (with her wishes, of course) to keep her in our cinema. And also, with our joint consent, put them on one shift. Initially, it was assumed that we would work in different shifts, since due to all these changes I was working with another shift worker, but she was going on vacation, and she should have just returned to my shift and we would have continued working with the other one. But as a result, we are now working with this FB.
My attitude towards her
I feel that with her constant K+ and spontaneity, like I went to pee, she really blows my mind. I really don’t want to urgently drag her into bed, but I really see her as my wife, etc. I know, this is called greatly increased importance. But the problem is also at my age, I don’t really want to run around different ZhP right now, suddenly after her appearance I suddenly wanted to settle down somewhere and start a normal family.
Another guy (MC)
It definitely exists. I don’t know his exact age, but I think he’s a year or two older than her. That is, about the same age. He served in the army, then studied at a creative university to become a sound engineer. Even, it seems, he made some kind of his own short film as just a director. I don't know where he works. I also don’t know exactly how long they communicate, but obviously more than one month. They have some LTR. But I know that they don’t seem to live together, because she lives in the same apartment, which was given to her by a friend (as you can see, this happens too)), but temporarily, then this friend of hers plans to rent out this apartment and she will have to move out. Whether she will give up exactly what she is looking for OZHP - I don’t know. The apartment has two rooms, that is, in theory, they could easily live in it, but for some reason they don’t, although the apartment is located in the region, that is, geographically far from the center of a large city, they need to travel by train. Or maybe her MC just doesn’t want to travel to the region all the time. She knows his parents and stayed overnight at his house. Whether he lives alone or with his parents, I don’t know. This is from what I could find out from her, but there is a dilemma. On the one hand, I would like to gather more information about her current MCH and the depth of their relationship in order to understand what there are weak points there. On the other hand, hearing about her MC is unpleasant when you like her, you understand why. She told me about him, but superficially, within a different context, as they say. Moreover, lately he has also become smarter about meeting her after work, coming to our cinema, which really infuriates me, but of course, I can’t show it. He goes into the cinema and sits in the lobby while she gets ready, then they go out together. I even got the impression that he began to herd her more often just after we started working with her and I began to like her. Perhaps she told him about me (maybe even purely in the sense that she was just a colleague), but you know, maybe the dude immediately thought of that, just in case. But on the other hand, he won’t be greeting her like that all his life. He also writes to her on messenger all the time throughout the day, one might say he’s just some kind of messenger writer. She answers him, sometimes they exchange short video messages there.
Signs of mutual sympathy with OZHP (at least, as it seemed to me). Kinesthetics, her reaction. Messages
As I already wrote above. On the first day she asked me. Do I like working with her? She also said that she would like to stay in our cinema. Subsequently, she repeated this several times during other shifts. While the issue with the transfer (that she would remain with us) was not resolved, she somehow even said with some sadness that she would soon leave for another cinema, where she originally planned to go to work, which is closer to her home. She was also glad that I asked management to work with her on a shift.
What I did. For now I just tried to somehow leave her very easily. For the first time, when saying goodbye after the first shift, I shook her hand, the next day I kissed her hand when saying goodbye. But on the next shift, after the weekend, she pulled her away and in a somewhat capricious childish tone asked her not to do that, not to kiss her hands. He allows himself to be touched, around the waist a little over the shoulders. I haven't tried kissing yet. Of course, I didn’t try to grab her in any intimate places, and I don’t want to, in general, because I don’t just want to have sex with her. But if you bring your head too close to her, for example, you tried to put your head on her shoulder while she is sitting, as if by chance while talking about something supposedly interesting that she can watch on the computer, then you move away a little. It seems to allow a little, but still there is a certain “red line”. He still doesn’t take a steam bath and changes clothes (there we have one form of clothing that needs to be worn, it’s only the top) in the room where I’m sitting, but as if behind the wall of one small room in the same place where you can close the door, but it doesn’t close the door. He asks me not to come in at this moment if I suddenly become alert. Sometimes it happened that we would meet eyes or would come into the room where I was sitting and was always interested in how things were going.
Closer - further
Somehow it infuriated me that she was always greeted by her MC and in general this whole situation and I tried to ignore her and see her reaction. Of course, I understand that in the absence of any actual relationship between us, I could not present this to her, so I was simply in a “bad mood that had nothing to do with her.” She immediately noticed this and began to note that I was in a bad mood today. Even during the day, she somehow tried to cheer me up or push me a little bit or touch my shoulder, like, well, something like that. And he also flirted a little in front of her with another shift worker from another shift, when they brought everyone together for one issue. But I like her less and she is just one of those girls that you want to gasp faster. Usually, as I already wrote, we work in twos.
My vacation and her illness and my invitation to go somewhere
I needed to go on vacation for a while, but it was, one might say, a working vacation. I was working at a public event in which she also showed some interest. and I kept trying to invite her there on her days off, but she, I would say, pushed me. The dialogue went like this:
Me: Name hello! Well, will you come tomorrow or the day after tomorrow to ***? As I understand it, your schedule is for the weekend on such and such a date? See the schedule and send her a link to it.
I am writing in the evening
Reply the next day.
OGP: Hello, Name!
I woke up after one shift and seemed to even find the strength to go to ***!
I would go today to *** for “***” and then to *** for “***”
how does this happen?
I reply after about an hour.
Hi! great, then we agreed, come to *** to ***, we are just working there today, then we will finish and go with you to ***
that is, somewhere around TIME - I’ll write to her when it’s best to come
then there is silence from her and an hour later I clarify
Name? I understand, I hope I didn’t fall asleep again?
response only the next day
Name, hello, I still don’t feel well, my head, throat, ears really hurt
Sorry to bother you
I’ll answer in a little over an hour
well, well, scammer, get well soon)) well, you still have attempt number two, but tomorrow I have *** where I work, I will only be in *** somewhere from ** to ** o'clock, come, for example, at *** - he will be there at ** o'clock
Replies the next day
thank you, but I still haven’t fully recovered
I hope everything is fine with you and ***
Already on Monday I’ll be working more than once(this means that I’m also coming back from my work leave and will be working with her)
Why did I write all this here?
I really wanted to talk somewhere. Since OGP blows the tower away with her spontaneity, and she also burrs a little, and suddenly, I really like this too . There’s some kind of chemistry, but the presence of another MCH with her is terribly infuriating. It’s as if this is the end of my bachelor life, but everything is spoiled by a rival who will not let it end.
If we don’t consider the typical things that are usually advised in such cases, like you shouldn’t have relationships at work and all that...
What can you advise in this particular situation? Should I squeeze her into a meeting on neutral territory? MCH who meets her not to notice? I know that the fact books say that stories about him should be ignored, as if he is not there for me, but at the same time I also want to gather information, but the fact that he constantly herds her and meets her after work is like Is it the right way to respond to this? Although this is terribly infuriating. If anyone is interested, I can send you a photo in a private message; it would be interesting to know from the forum guru her real rating on the pick-up scale. This, I hope, could reduce its importance for me in order to act more soberly.
So far I’ve written everything I can remember in a stream. Maybe. Then I’ll add some more details.
