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I know that different people come to the forum. So I decided to apply, because... It seems my model has reached a complete dead end, and I can’t find a way out of it.
Characters:
Me: 28.5 years old. I am a polite, tactful optimist, I am sincere, comfortable with me, but I take a long time to harness, and at times I am lazy. I work as an engineer at an NPO. Own apartment separate from parents.
She: 39 years old. Friendly, polite, interesting and smart, but at times she is arrogant and does not miss the opportunity to press on sore spots. Notary. Own apartment separate from parents. Child from a broken marriage.
History of relationship development:
We live in different cities with a distance of ~150 km.
2021: It all started with meeting someone in a VK group. I was bored and wrote to the first woman I liked. We talked for a couple of days. She wrote that her husband burned the correspondence and wants a divorce. He wanted to leave the family himself, and used the correspondence as a reason to accuse Her of treason. During the divorce I lost a lot of weight. We decided to continue communicating, flirting, calling her over. I then referred to being busy, but in reality I had serious problems with self-confidence. I freaked out and deleted the contact. After some time I wrote it myself. She moved away a little. Communication continued until New Year's Eve, everything was the same, banal topics, stories about yourself, light flirting. Then it gradually and quite gently faded away. I thought like this:cool lady, I have sympathy, but don’t care about the rest, I’ll write more later.
2022: communicated very rarely, sporadically. It was me and then she who started the conversation. She asked questions, sent racy photos, wrote “I like you”, “I want you”. Again we made an appointment a couple of times, but again I was afraid/stupid/didn’t have time. My self-confidence improved, but the lady was too thin at that time and was not of particular interest to me. In the summer, I wrote her a poem and read it to her in honor of her birthday. I thought like this: she seems to be hooked, I’ll write something else later, no big deal.
2023: I wrote at the beginning of the year. She supported the conversation, asked questions, wrote first, flirted again. By the end of spring, I was just in her city for work and made an appointment. I agreed without any problems, but the meeting did not take place, but this time for objective reasons due to my work. I agreed to reschedule for another time. Then she sent me a photo of her butt, flirting again, and when I wrote that I wanted her, she responded with great, but we understand that these are just words.. In July, she wrote to me herself, began asking questions, asking about successes at work, sending photos from the beach, again spicy home photos, travel photos. I noticed that she had gained weight and looked prettier. I decided to take it seriously, maintain a dialogue taking into account the experience gained, be more involved, introduced a few cool words))). Again from her“I’m so proud of you, you’re great, oh, you’re getting married - I’ll miss you, I wish I could lie under a blanket together now, good morning, good evening, good night, my beloved, my love.” I called to her “to fix the computer, fry a piece of meat”....Here I will remain silent...I was imbued with it. But after the phrase “We’ve known each other for two years, but we haven’t met, what are you doing”in response to my “Listen, I’m glad I have you, I appreciate you”< /em> I decided that some kind of development was needed (!it’s about damn time!) and made an appointment for the near future, throwing away all mental barriers. I agreed instantly and without any problems.
2023 !!!MEETING!!!: we just met in the park. We walked and sat on a bench. She asked her to hug her and be braver. By this time I had already groped enough women and was a little stunned by this. Therefore, he not only hugged her, but also went in for a kiss, to which she responded quite cheerfully with a return kiss. Then we kissed freely, I kneaded her butt, touched her waist, etc. Everything was great. We took a photo together. She offered to give me a ride in my car to the right place, because... I needed to get home. We stopped in the parking lot and she asked me a question, "we have an age difference, why do you need this?". I couldn’t find what to answer, and decided to say something sweet and pleasant, I thought it would work, and said“you think I wasted all these darling, my love, etc., I put a certain meaning into it” . I liked how her pupils dilated at that moment, she hugged me, pulled me towards her and began to kiss me. I suggested moving to the back seat, and she thought that I wanted to take possession of her there. But I just wanted a more comfortable kiss. She asked: "did you think today would be the first time?". I answered: “it’s unlikely that the first time will be like this”. It was autumn.
After the meeting and until the end of 2023: the first message after the meeting was from her“I was pleased to meet you, you were right, everything has its time.” I thought: our “relationship” has strengthened, the lady is definitely on the hook, I can do whatever I want with her. But again I screwed up a little, because... I was depressed because of the end of work and the events happening in the world and I let everything take its course.
Awareness of the current problem:
A couple of weeks ago I decided to have a new meeting. I discovered that the photo they shared on Instagram after the meeting disappeared after 1.5 months. A couple of days later she sent it to me with the words"this is our photo, let it be a souvenir for you too." I didn’t attach any importance, we continued to communicate as before. Happy Birthday and Happy New Year. A week ago I posted a photo after the hairdresser and barbershop. The answer was"I like you even more this way, I want to run my fingers through your hair and run through them while lying next to you." To my quite normal remark “I’ll climb somewhere too then” there was a rather cool response. On Sunday I was simply covered by some fierce cloud of mega-concentrated darkness. I tried to communicate with her, asked simple questions, but she answered rather dryly, without details, although usually the opposite. On Monday I sent a message “good morning /with emoticons/ and /wish you a good week/”. I shared the story about Sunday, the reaction was lukewarm. She started flirting, but reacted coolly and did not develop it. As a result: she flirted all the time, said that she liked me and wanted me, sent racy photos, asked to touch me at a meeting, cheerfully sucked, literally a week ago she planned to run her hands through my hair, but today I’m just an old pen pal.
Today the following dialogue took place (IMPORTANT! I tried to reflect the essence with minimal losses):
https://dropmefiles.com/CfrLf
Goal: I want to normalize the relationship, make love with her, and do it regularly. Make her a mistress. And to do this, find out what to do and how to act: just call it quits, say about ending the relationship, or go to a meeting?
Intended (planned) actions and methods: just go, see each other, and in the process begin physical contact, as on a first date. If he refuses in every way, calmly say goodbye and never see each other again. Epic acquaintance - epic separation. Why should only men lose?
Additional:
Right now there is communication. I can send a message and so can she, we are not in an emergency, we didn’t fight.
In relationships I go this way and that. There are successes and there are failures. I'm not a master. At the moment I am communicating with three: one writes after breaking up, the other wants to be a rare dish on my love table, the third lives in the same city as She. She has an ex-husband, a former mch, with whom she was also at a distance, but when he moved, he turned out to be unnecessary, there is a current person, also at a distance, who travels to see her. About everything else, I don't know.
I don’t know anything about her parents, they seem like an ordinary family, they love their grandson. I have an ordinary family.
A few years ago, I fell into the friend zone, worked with a freelance expert, but it was unsuccessful, we were not able to get out of the friend zone. I didn’t just feel bad, I felt like peace death, I felt bad, I almost died. Now I feel much better.
In the process, he made a lot of fucking%*:%la%*:%n gestures, it’s obvious.
