Mistakes ⇐ Pick Up

[Guest]

Hello, guy 18, studying, a virgin, I myself am very emotional and quickly get attached to a person, full-fledged ltr never happened, I want to hear an opinion about my mistakes and ways to fix them, I'm not fully engaged in a pickup truck. Girl 18, has a job, met a girl 3 weeks ago on сз(I need to stop sitting there already), I always looking forward to ltr, probably naive, invited me for a walk, then it was raining on the day of the walk, invited me home for fun, agreed, arrived, lay hugging, talking, gave me a blowjob (1 in my life). I took her home, a few days later we met again, there I already took her to the cinema, then at night I wanted to go for a walk with her with wine, but she offered to me, which I did not expect, at first we walked for 2 hours to the apartment, as a result then they also lay hugging, caressing, again gave a blowjob, I didn’t incline to sex, because I remembered that she told me that the few times she had, it hurt her, and she didn’t want to be without lubrication, but I wanted to both of them felt very comfortable(tfn uphold?) But I haven’t bought the lubricant yet. As a result, we fell asleep, sat a little in the morning, talked very emotionally, talked about the former and relationships, and in the afternoon I walked her to the subway. After that, I somehow got attached to a rhinestone, there were a lot of emotions on my part, we talked a lot by correspondence, and called up 2 times a day for 5 days, once somehow I started a conversation about relationships, she dropped it and then asked not to discuss more this topic, then I had to leave for 7 days, and I suggested that she meet before leaving, at first she agreed, then on the day of the meeting she refused, said that plans had changed, and she was staying with a friend, later sent a video from the bar with her, I I started to ignore it, after a couple of days I wrote and offered to communicate as before, but without the possibility of a relationship, since she doesn’t need them now, I agreed. While I was on vacation, we constantly corresponded, called her in the evening, chatted well, said that I would bring her gifts from the holidays, I was happy, I supported her once when I saw that a person needed help, then she said that I was very good. She never answered my favors in any way, of course there was a feeling that they don’t see a guy in me, there was still a sin behind her that she didn’t call back when she said that she would do it, once in an ordinary conversation she began to accuse me of being with her I walk only for one thing, of course I didn’t like that she thinks so, said that it’s not so, she asked me to prove it, I didn’t like that she thinks so, and I slowed down the tone of communication to a colder one, then the next day she wrote with reconciliation, and also corresponded periodically. In general, here I arrived a couple of days ago, yesterday we agreed to meet today (a long-awaited meeting), after the evening I offered to call, phoned, during the conversation she always said that I was speaking in a strange way (I was a little drunk) and she didn’t like it, I asked why exactly strange, did not answer. This morning I am specifying the place and time of the meeting, he says that he will think, after 20 minutes he writes that he does not want to see each other today, since it is far to go (she is from another city, but this did not bother her before), I say that it is understandable, asks: "maybe we will stop communication?" I answer: "you already did it", says: "well, that's fine." The main question was at the beginning, but I also want to ask why she didn’t come today, did she feel threatened? The last couple of days I realized that they no longer considered me, the same words that call back and don’t call back, or don’t answer SMS for a long time, although online, always apologize for jambs, but don’t correct them, and I’m tired, I became to speak more cynically, the goal was already to meet her, take a walk, somehow taxi to the cinema and go to the apartment to change the frame.