Help me figure out the errors ⇐ Pick Up

[Anonymous]

I'm 26, my girlfriend is 23.

We trained together in the gym, often locked eyes, and one fine day I decided to come up to meet him. After I approached, I asked her what her name was, to which she replied, “I’m not getting to know each other,” I replied, “okay, we work out in the gym together, let’s at least get to know each other, if anything, we’ll just be friends,” and then she said what her name is, There was nothing further to ask and the questions dispersed. After she began to leave the gym for the locker room, she smiled and said goodbye, to which I reciprocated, said goodbye and followed her, when approaching the locker room, I asked her for contact information, how to find her, etc. She gave a link on VK, I said that I would write.

This is where the story begins, where perhaps I made mistakes somewhere, although this is not certain.

The next day, he added her to VK, started communicating with her, began unobtrusive communication, asked about the guy or not, she replied that there was no guy, but she was always up for communication. Easy communication, getting to know each other, etc.

Next, I suggest we go to the gym together, work out, I said that I can pick her up and also take her home, this is my first offer to meet after a day of correspondence. To which she replied, “I would love to, but I work all day, thank you very much,” then I don’t pay attention to the refusal, I ask where you work, etc., after which there is an easy correspondence, and I already ask what day you plan to go to the gym - she replies, “ the day after tomorrow,” I replied that the day after tomorrow there are plans, well, in general, I said that we’ll see. In the end, since I had other plans, I didn’t go to the gym with her.

The second stage of pulling her to the meeting. I suggest we meet on the weekend, go to training - to which I receive the answer “I’m also working” and then I ask “what day are you free? I suggest my day on Friday” she replies “I don’t know what will happen” I write “well let’s get organized closer to this time” "

After that comes the usual correspondence, support of interest

Stage 3 of going to a meeting, I decide to do differently, since she doesn’t go to the meeting, I suggest we go for a ride back to a friend’s place, to which she seems to agree, although she was not willing, I picked her up, we went to a friend’s place, on the way she tells me about herself and about the relationship “1 year without a relationship, I don’t need a relationship yet, I don’t want all these prohibitions, etc.” to which I agreed, translated everything into a joke, did not pay attention to it, after We got to a friend’s place and suggested she go for a walk, to which she received the answer “I’m very tired, I want to go home,” so I was like, okay, okay. During the conversation, I learned that she loves hookah, and decided to get hooked on it and offered to smoke a hookah somewhere in a beautiful place, which she didn’t mind. When we arrived at the house, we said goodbye and said, “Write when you’re home, you’re free,” she replied, “Okay.”

There were no messages from her for 4 days, I was already thinking about forgetting about her, but in the end she wrote herself, “hello, how are you, I rested here for a little bit, right now I’m at work,” I thought it means she was interested in something, in the end, easy communication, support of interest on my part, etc. She wrote that she was working, and I decided to offer to pick her up at work, to which she happily agreed. Half an hour before meeting, she writes, “I’m angry and in no mood, are you sure you want to come?” I answer, “well, we agreed,” she writes, “then feed me with laughing smiley faces,” I write, “I can buy you cottage cheese with a banana, you’re an athlete,” she replies, “let’s go to McDonald’s,” I write, okay.

We met with her, she left work 15 minutes late, we had to wait. We hugged when we met, then we went to the poppy, and then I had a question, why exactly at the poppy, when we arrived at the poppy, I decided to cheat a little, she ordered food, I ordered one burger, I didn’t order anything. When we arrive to pay, I pretend as if I forgot the card and ask her for a card to pay, she gave me her card, I paid with her card. And then she says to me, “If anything, I can pay for myself,” I tell her, “I’ll transfer you right now for my order.” The situation was generally not clear, perhaps she wanted me to pay for it. In the end, after we ate, she said, “We can go to my friend’s house and bring her some food for work, and she can eat in the car.” I agreed. She ordered food for a friend and we went to her work. On the way, she asked to turn on the music and instead of communicating, we listened to her music, so to speak, she connected via bluetooth to the radio, during breaks I turned down the music a little to at least somehow communicate, but in the end she turned it back up.

After we arrived at my friend’s place, she said, “5 minutes and I’ll be there,” I answered okay. As a result, she was gone for 35 minutes. While I was standing there waiting, I called her once and asked how long she would be there, she said that everything seemed to be going on already. When she came, I told her “they don’t do that, and that I didn’t like it, you said it was 5 minutes, but in fact you were gone for 35 minutes,” and in the end we went home. On the way I didn’t talk to her, she smiled, pointed her finger at me, asked, “Are you suddenly silent?” I showed her my hostility, teased her like, “I’m waiting for you,” she was like, “What do you mean?” I answered directly. After a silence of 5 minutes, I decided to ask “what were you talking about with your friend”, to which I received the answer “what difference does it make to you?” I answered “okay, fine, absolutely no difference.” When we arrived at the house, she said, “Thank you for taking me,” I didn’t answer anything, and in the end she just left. The meeting, of course, did not end well.

5 days pass, there are no messages from her, I decided to write myself. "Hi, how are you, what's new?" She replied, “Hello, everything is fine,” and cold communication began on her part. I asked whether she was working or not, she answered “I am working”, I invited her to come pick her up. To which she replies, “No thanks,” at this stage the showdown begins and I ask what’s the matter, explaining that it was unpleasant for me that you were doing this to me. She replied, “I don’t want to sort things out, I don’t like a lot of things either.” I replied, “Okay, okay.” On the same day, about 3-4 hours pass, I suggest coming to work for her, since the weather is bad, etc. To which she replies, “OK, I won’t refuse, but I don’t want to go for a walk right away,” I answer, well, the weather is not for walking, so we’ll see.

As a result, I came to pick her up at work, I stood near the work at the entrance, she went out with a colleague and started smoking without paying attention to me, I waited until she smoked, in the end she said goodbye to her colleague, and then we walked together to the car. On the way, while we were walking, I told her that I left the car far away to take a short walk, etc., to which she was unhappy, but still went to communicate. There was no showdown; when we approached the car, I suggested she take a little walk, she agreed. We walked around a little, talked, she told me about the fact that she didn’t want a relationship, that everything was bad at work, etc., in general, if you look from the outside, she was just complaining. In the end, after a walk, we went home. Before driving up to the house, I decided to stop at the bus stop, surprise her a little, got out, took out a rose from the trunk, which I had prepared in advance and presented to her, she smiled and hugged. I told her “take a closer look at your surroundings, who you can build a relationship with” and offered to go on a date next time, to which she said “I don’t need a relationship yet and I’ve already talked about it” I answered her “ok, but I advise you to take a closer look to your surroundings at the moment." We drove up to the house, hugged and said goodbye.

3 days pass, in the evening she herself wrote “hello, how are you” and after 15 minutes deletes the message. I saw this message after she deleted the message and replied: “hi, everything was fine at training”

The next day she wrote that she couldn’t leave work and therefore wanted to ask him to come, and in the end she found someone to go with.

Naturally, I didn’t like it, I wrote, “Are you just asking for this?” She replied “yes,” I wrote, “Don’t find out how you are, don’t ask what’s new sincerely,” I wrote that I wasn’t pleased with such a disrespectful attitude towards me.

She replied “I don’t like a lot of things either”

I wrote “I didn’t do anything bad to you so that you didn’t like anything, on the contrary, I’m trying to gradually improve the relationship between us”

She - there is no relationship between us, I’m not going to quarrel and sort things out, I got angry at the time

I answered - I meant communication and not relationship. I asked what you don’t like?

She answered - Well, I just don’t see the point in explaining, because there can be nothing between us - only communication, and that’s what I said initially, my principles have not changed, sorry if it’s offensive, but I think it’s better this way than it would be even worse later.

I replied - ok fine. To which she gave me a “heart” reaction.

As a result, this was the end of all communication. Can you explain to me what I did wrong and where are my mistakes?