What defines us - thoughts or actions? ⇐ General

[Anonymous]

Actually, the question is in the title.
Why did it arise - sometimes there are thoughts that frighten. And, of course, I most often do not implement them - well, I’m like a decent person and all that (even in front of myself - but how will I look at myself in the mirror tomorrow after this?). After some thoughts, thoughts begin to appear - am I a mentally normal person? Three people know about all my quirks - two close friends (to match me) and my husband (and even then, not all of them).
Many would say - well, to hell with them, these are just thoughts. But I doubt it. After all, sometimes some thought begins to be obsessive, and then nevertheless breaks out in the form of an action. If, for example, the mood, time, place and environment coincide. In short, as they say, the stars aligned. And somewhere they didn’t agree.
Stereotypes, internal attitudes, etc. warn against embodying some thoughts. The struggle of desire (true, internal, inherent in you) with these attitudes (most often imposed by society) also most often prevents the thought from coming true.
What do you think? Are we what we think, or what we do?
Just don’t give the example of the fable about two wolves... for me, it doesn’t fit in this situation.
I’m still inclined to that thoughts define us. And that if you have already thought that you are doing all sorts of crap, then you need to think hard about it, even if it is not implemented. And my husband periodically reassures me that I am not a pervert, and seem to be a normal person, until I realize these thoughts. And like everyone seems to be normal people sometimes have moronic thoughts and it doesn’t mean anything