Protracted acquaintance, green light and drain... ⇐ Pick Up

[Anonymous]

I've looked through a lot of topics but haven't seen anything like this. The story is about how you can screw up all the possibilities of first getting to know each other, and then finally meeting. Everything lasted for a year and a half, so there is a lot of text.

The story begins in one community/party where I noticed one girl (at that time she was 19, but for some reason she always hid her age). And somehow she stuck in my head and I began to remember and think about her. Then a holiday was planned in our party and I knew that she would be there. And then fate gives me a chance: first I accidentally sit next to her, and then she sits at the table opposite me. From such a surprise I “ate” my tongue for the whole evening. We sat for almost 2 hours and I just thought: “Do I like her at all?” and the more I thought about what to say, the more it confused me. When I was taking pictures of the hall, I suddenly noticed that she was looking at me and when she returned, she tried to talk to me, but I could only answer and the conversation did not happen... that’s how we “met”. In the end, I realized that I had wasted my chance and decided to “act.” A week later I found her Instagram and subscribed, and a week later (yes, so as not to look interested) I wrote to her. We talked a little, teased me about being taciturn, made a couple of compliments and decided to transfer the communication to Telegram. And then fate pushes me further: she throws a screenshot of her profile in the cart where you can see her phone number (which I, of course, won’t use), to which I just joked: “thanks for the phone number”. The next day the correspondence somehow stopped and no one continued, so in the end I gave up.

After2(!) months I notice she has a black avatar on Instagram, I go to her profile and see that she has deleted all the photos, I didn’t react at all, I thought something personal. Later I saw a ping in the cart, I put a nice photo (although before that I warned that I rarely use the cart), I complimented him and said that he bought it from a professional. I have a camera and I can take a couple of photos for her too, but I’m frozen by being busy with my studies. I immediately restored everything on Instagram and posted the same photo, well, just for fun, I wrote the same compliment again, to which she blurted out:“thank you, I knew you would appreciate it”(ping confirmed). Then we crossed paths a couple of times in reality but didn’t talk. On her birthday she was the last to congratulate her, in order to stand out from her words since everyone congratulates first, I joked that she would give me a gift on her birthday and subscribe on Instagram, to which she said that it was a good idea and did so.

Once, at one of the meetings in the company, she came into the kitchen where I was standing, but could not close the shack, I came up from behind, took my hand and helped, after which I ran out of emotions as if scalded (???). Then we were planning a trip to another city with a company, and out of the blue she wrote to me that she was eager to go there, as if she had made it clear what would happen there, well, I thought it means there was an opportunity to get acquainted and said:

⁃Will you sit next to me on the train?
⁃ I don’t know, maybe they’ve already taken a place near you.
⁃ Okay, I’ll think about who I’ll sit with.

As a result, later it hit me and I said that of course I want to sit next to you and get to know you better, decorating it all with romantic emojis (facepalm). In the morning I look at the answer:

⁃ I think my boyfriend will be against our getting to know each other better
⁃ What other guy? I wonder what else you'll come up with, but keep going
⁃ Yes, one that captured my heart)
⁃ It’s true that I can see that the heart is not occupied yet) Let’s talk on the train, you can start making up stories
⁃ You're funny)

A day later I unsubscribed on Instagram, I asked why, she: “I have reasons”, okay, I’m asking if I should write to you further, but I didn’t put it that way + she didn’t understand me and said what to write to me There is no need to go further, so we said goodbye. A month later, I seemed to notice she had a new avatar with a strong emphasis on red lips (she remembered my compliment) and also put an emoji of biting lips next to her nickname so that she would definitely pay attention, I did not react. In the end I couldn’t stand it and wrote it myself. Then there was a trip, getting on the train it turned out that the tickets were strictly according to seats and we were separated, passing near her I thought I heard: “not fate”. When leaving the train, she accidentally (on purpose?) followed me, but I didn’t even notice or help with the bag, which made me upset: “there are so many guys and no one can help.” Then he gave everyone stickers that he came up with and printed out, everyone liked it and immediately when they returned to the hotel, she put it in her story, tagged me and subscribed again out of emotion. After that, she constantly called me when she passed by, either to play or take a photo. But when I once approached her from behind unexpectedly with an offer to take a photo for her, she left emotionally (???).. It is also worth noting that on that trip one football player began to hit on her. In the evening, when they were sitting in a cafe, he suddenly asks her: “Do you really not have a boyfriend?” and she responded with sarcasm: “there are already two,” and I was literally sitting next to her and heard everything. He also drank from her glass, to which she did not even react. Then we returned to the room and I heard her complaining to her friend that she had no one to meet. When they approached, I saw her and the football player walking behind them, separately from everyone else and far away. I turned away and a couple of guys started talking to each other, “Did you see? Did you see?” but it’s a pity that I didn’t see it, it felt like he kissed her there. I immediately felt bad in my soul, she started looking for the keys to the room and immediately ran away. Then at the hotel they were playing a board game in a group and that guy was sitting on the phone on the side and seemed to be waiting for everyone to leave so that he could stay with her. I glared at him a little and eventually he left. In the morning I wrote that I noticed on the stickers that the girl had sneakers like hers. I did this on purpose and in the end I noticed it all the same, and it was my most common compliment. As it turned out later, the football player had a girlfriend and everything was serious, he even came into our compartment and said that nothing would work out. After the trip, I watched and liked all my stories in a row. But this situation turned me on and I realized that she did not consider me as a guy, in the end I began to ignore her during meetings, but she herself caught me, then she would speak, then she would come up from behind and rest on my shoulder.. As a result, after my long ignore, I looked at my story and unsubscribed, and a couple of days later I did too.

A couple of months passed and I accidentally went to another social network and saw a story where she took a selfie with my sticker on her phone, she had never published such photos there and knew that this was the only opportunity for me to see (Instagram is closed). I thought it was a ping and then congratulated me on one holiday, she answered at the same second as if she was sitting in a chat. We chatted a little and she was very happy that I didn’t forget and was happy for me with all her heart for my successes. Then he congratulated me on New Year’s Eve and responded with a kiss. A month later, I noticed she had an open profile on Instagram and a lot of new photos, well, as always, I wrote and flirted a little, after which she started sending me audio messages like never before and telling me a lot about herself with great interest. She again started pinging me with avatars on social networks at intervals of 1-2 days, knowing that I would react to it. In one of the correspondences she said that she bought a new handbag, tomorrow she is going to church and then to her mother and added that student life is boring, I picked up the situation and write at what time you go to church, show me a new handbag, I also need to show you something new. In the morning the answer is: "I'm going with my boyfriend)".

In the end, I decided to take the risk of surprising her on her birthday and meeting her, maybe something will work out, it will be a good holiday for emotions. I prepared a gift, wrote in the morning, was delighted, asked where we would meetand when I had a birthday, but I don’t know how to be stupid and said that I don’t want to strain you today (facepalm), like we can do it some other time, but she replied: “Why bother, BD is not in my head at all”and sent pictures that she was studying in the morning, for some reason I thought that she probably wasn’t interested and would write when she wanted. In the end, of course, she didn’t write it herself. A month later, I think okay, I’ll remind you, I apologized and wrote: “..I’ll be very grateful if you tell me how to pick it upmaybe on Saturday, on Sunday I’m leaving for another city (this was true) and I’ll definitely I’ll write." As a result, again the silence turned into anger in me because I had prepared the most original surprise for her, which she would have appreciated 100%. After a month and a half, I see a story that she is leaving for another city (for the holidays) and I understand that there is no point in waiting, I like it (who knows why) and instantly delete all her social networks and chats (which I even regretted a little later). After a couple of days, she starts changing avatars everywhere to black and white (I used to write so that she wouldn’t be sad when she put up a black and white photo), but I didn’t react. After a while, I accidentally came across her saved voice message in telegram, I saw an avatar where she had already returned to our city (I had never taken such photos) and I saw that she changed it only in the cart (I saw that I no longer log into other social networks).

At the end of the summer, I couldn’t resist and wrote and showed a photo of what I wanted to give, she was happy, she said that it was very sad in her soul that it all ended like that, in the summer she remembered our last year’s trip and again how sad it was that it all ended like that. A couple of messages later I write: “maybe you can still find 5 minutes and we’ll meet, I believe that it’s not for me to give you gifts but it will be a keepsake for you, I don’t need anything from you, it’ll just make my soul feel better.” She replies: “I’m really very pleased that you tried so hard for me, but at the same time I’m sad because I can’treciprocate, if all this had happened a little earlier, it would have been different.” (ping with a photo against the background of the city was confirmed). On the trail. Every day I write a long message about why I did this, that I realized that she didn’t need it, etc. She replied that this is not true, maybe over time everything will change for her and she will be able to apologize homeward over a cup of cappuccino and her signature tiramisu. Maybe someday there will be an opportunity to meet and explain everything. I answer in a joking manner: “Dada, promise something else.” A couple of weeks later I accidentally saw her Instagram open, I looked at her story and saw a large photograph of a green traffic light, she was in Germany at that time, and there are two people crossing the road. After which I immediately closed my profile and I realized that it was addressed to me.

After that, I no longer doubted the green light, but then I had 2 projects in work as never before and the deadlines were very serious... without hesitation for a long time, I sent her a long message a couple of days later where I was very intrigued by the meeting, and also clarified that unfortunately now “there is no time” and after October we will meet and correct this misunderstanding in a classroom environment and added - better late than never. She was very happy, liked everything and replied that she liked this idea and I knew how to surprise for the second time (I don’t know when it was the first), wished me good luck in my work and wrote that we would correct this misunderstanding.

It’s also worth noting that that evening I was saying goodbye to one person in a group and someone posted our photo in stories with a caption like “farewell is not the end, it’s the beginning of something new.” And I sent my message at the same minute when she was watching this story, immediately took a screenshot and sent me something like I had intuition. After that, I blurted out that I had approximately the same thoughts, after which she began to answer in monosyllables and coldly. I really worked every day, seven days a week, and there were thoughts that I was waiting for her and she would wait, like I wanted to show that I wasn’t really eager to see her and was so busy. Then I noticed that she changed her avatar where she was all made up and put her hand on her shoulder where the ring on her left hand was clearly visible (before that I noticed that she wore it on her right so that no one would pester) and she knew for sure that I always paid attention to it. I reacted to this on the very first day, joked and made a couple of compliments, thinking, okay, I’ve already tried and also said that we might meet in mid-October, although I don’t promise, but in November I definitely promise and again wished me success.

Then I wrote something to her every Monday to remind her of myself. One of them said that at the end of the month we have a project release, then I’m going to a wedding and then November will come (a hint about a meeting). And so, 2 weeks before November, I write to her that I hope I will survive this month, making it clear that I still “can’t” meet her faster, to which she simply replied“hello, good luck”and after a couple of hours she suddenly deletes all correspondence. Of course, I didn’t understand anything and didn’t figure it out right away, and when I was free exactly on November 1st, I sent her a text message on her phone that I could finally report on work and was ready to meet, but I realized that I was dumb because I had to call.. I looked at her a couple of minutes later, but never answered. On the second day I wrote to her in a telegram and here is the following dialogue:

- Hello, I’m fine, thank you. I have to refuse, my boyfriend is against me going for coffee with you..
- Did you ask him for permission? Why constantly promise something? I will never understand you...
- I didn’t ask permission. I saw your messages and let me know.
- But he let me go to the sea with my girlfriend and other guys)
- With friends)

In general, I wrote: "Good luck to you, it's a pity we didn't get to talk, I still regret that we didn't meet for a long time when we were sitting opposite each other."I gave a crying reaction and I deleted the correspondence. I know all the guys personally and I know that they have been friends for a long time, but nevertheless.. Also, the guys later told me that she asked about me when they were on vacation at sea. And there was also that football player who was attracted to her initially, in the end it turned out that they became friends, it seems she even does manicures from his girlfriend. For a couple of days I thought that she really wanted to meet me, even if there was a guy or not, maybe the test for perseverance is simple and I still need to figure it out. After 5 days I write something neutral, she reads it but doesn’t respond further:

- I’m writing because I don’t understand, this is already . or perhaps more...?
- I don't want to give you false hopes. Therefore, I will answer that this is final.
- You take everything seriously, going for coffee with me is such an event and if he controls you so much then you are “lucky” )
“You just seriously don’t understand how much my boyfriend is against our “friendly relationship.” I think if you were him, you would also be against such events. And yes, I agree with my aunt, I was lucky to have him)
- But she still wanted to give me the green light)
- It doesn’t matter anymore (ping confirmed)

Afterwards, I also wrote some bullshit based on emotions that I’m glad if you’re not alone anymore,it’s strange that everything happened like this, and I started saying goodbye again (fell below the plinth?), she didn’t answer and deleted all the correspondence again, which is what I expected but didn't block me. At this point you can understand that it’s already stopped, but still she wanted to give me a chance, even if there is a guy.. But here it seems to me that it was just a break in patterns, slight nostalgia and a little sympathy/interest when I was attracted to, gave compliments, a gift, and then I suddenly delete it and cut off the connection. She probably realized that she had “lost” and became sad. From this I concluded that I was completely stupid because I could still go on a date for at least 10 minutes. There is probably a guy, but she either changed her mind in 1.5 months because he gave her new emotions during this time, or the guy is really some kind of jealous and she is blowing dust off him. Once she was seen with some guy, but it could have just been a friend. A couple of days later I couldn’t resist and saw that I opened my Instagram, there was one saved story from the summer about a broken heart and music to match, I ignored it at that time and didn’t get in touch when she tried to ping me for a long time. Now I have closed my profile and I am calm.
Questions: Did she write me off as a brake? Burnt out? Have you changed your mind? And in general, how realistic is the scenario that the guy burned the correspondence and “didn’t let me in” for coffee, because it was on a Monday afternoon and it seems to me that she should be at school at that time (although from the history it is clear that she has notifications turned on).. some kind of childish thing. It seems like an excuse to me, although after that she answered me very seriously, her goodwill and positivity in my direction vanished as if by hand. through her friend and forget but big HZ. Is it worth doing this? It’s very difficult to throw it away, because I put a piece of my soul there and I hope she understands what she didn’t accept very harshly. P.S. The gift is original stickers with her name, beautifully designed and with a bunch of references, as well as a link to her Instagram. And on the reverse side is an illustration about her life, where she studies, lives and her dreams.. That is. this is a unique thing, you could say these are stickers-business cards that she can distribute to her friends and acquaintances, besides, she loves to travel and works part-time as a counselor at a camp for children, i.e. There would always be someone to give them to and an original collection of followers on Instagram..